Ten Deaths
by Roses of Sharon
Summary: Only ten times has Sakura allowed herself to feel any emotion as she takes lives.  SasuSaku
1. Introduction

**Ten Deaths**

Haruno Sakura is a machine. Like the ninja around her, she has been trained to get in, do the job, and get out.

The job is usually death.

She has been trained until death is a matter of survival. Her, or them.

But, sometimes, there are deaths she allows herself to feel. Because controlled anger, unlike remorse, gives her extra edge.

And these are the stories of those times.


	2. For Her Love

Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto_.

Summary: Only ten times has Sakura allowed herself to kill someone and feel any emotion at all.

Chapter One: For Her Love

Sakura's green eyes are wide with fear as she watches Sasuke's battle. But this is a war, and she herself is dispatching enemies. And there are so many other battles between her and him.

And then Sasuke is down, and his enemy has raised his sword, a cleaver larger than he is – and he's preparing to end it.

She sees Sasuke attempt to raise himself up, but he is completely exhausted. She remembers that he has been fighting far longer than she has.

And then she's moving, pushing enemies out of her way with chakra-enforced blows that send them flying, and the monster standing over the Uchiha raises his head to look at her, and then she's on him, with a punch that could shatter a boulder, and he's _gone_, and so's half the invading army around him in one chakra-wasting, but incredibly satisfying blow, and she looks down at Sasuke, who's staring at her, red eyes wide open, and she's panting, but utterly pleased, and suddenly, as if just realizing that she, just like the Sharingan-user, is a threat, enemies come rushing up to them.

She offers Sasuke a quick smile, and then moves to stand over him, protecting him, as he once protected her, as hordes of invading ninja and foot soldiers come flying toward them. And she's fighting and fighting, her fury and fear for the man below her blocking everything else out.

And Lee is there with his good guy grin and flying fists, and then the rest of the Konoha Twelve are around them, and Sakura can take the time to heal Sasuke, and then _all _of the Twelve are up and fighting, and they are forming the pinnacle of an attack meant to annihilate the enemy, and Sakura smiles because everything is _right_.

She glances back at Sasuke, who looks at her with a small smirk and a new level of respect in his eyes, even as he holds a man in the air by his throat.

And it's all as it should be.

RoS: I'm really sorry that I forgot to spell check this after speed-typing it! I hope this works out better, but if you see anything, please don't hesitate to point out what it was and where it is! Thanks!


	3. For Her Honor

For Her Honor

Sakura clutched a kunai in her hand as she prepared to attack him. She panted, bead s of sweat rolling down her face.

She winced as her weight settled on her left leg, and suddenly the ninja was on top of her, straddling her body as he pushed her to the ground.

She braced herself against the feeling of the cold metal against her neck, all the while fighting against her traitorous body. She squeezed her green eyes shut in concentration, preparing herself for death.

What came seemed worse. A warm hand made itself at home on her breast, and her eyes snapped open in shock. Her mouth opened, but she couldn't seem to grasp language.

She looked up in his face. His leering, perverted face.

And then, her world sharpened and focused.

Focused on his face, on the hand on her breast, on the other hand, between her legs. And suddenly, her traitorous body came back to her mind, and she bucked hard, flinging him off. She grabbed the edges of her torn clothing, holding it together as tears of anger and frustration flowed down her cheeks.

Slowly, she crumpled to the floor. Knees thumped on the ground, and she groped blindly for a weapon. She finally grasped the handle of a kunai. Her eyes skittered toward it nervously, and she noted with a grimace that it belonged to her enemy, who was stirring weakly at the base of a tree.

She gripped it, nearly overcome with bloodlust. Red blurred her vision, and she threw the kunai with unerring aim, piercing through the back of his throat. She watched as he crumpled lifelessly with satisfaction, and then she stood on trembling legs, nauseous but proud, and turned, surprised by boy who was suddenly there. She tipped backwards found that she suddenly couldn't balance.

To her relief, two warm arms lifted her up, cradling her in a bridal position. She let herself relax, "Thanks, Sasuke-kun."

"Hn."


	4. For Her Life

For Her Life

Out of all the times she has been sent on a mission, she has never been in so much danger as on this one.

On this mission, when she has been separated from her team members, and she's alone and weaponless but for the kunai in her hand, with her chakra low.

She's afraid, and then she's angry. Angry at herself for becoming so weak, for not recognizing a trap when she saw one. Angry at the enemy for trapping her, for cheating – even though she knows that a ninja avoids fair fights like Hyuuga Neji avoids fangirls.

And then she's moving, quickly, quietly, and the movement is perfect, graceful, complete, and its all clear. Crystal clear, her anger sharpening her senses.

And she fights, long after she loses her single kunai, and her chakra is nearly depleted. She shouldn't be able to, but she does, because she wants – needs – to live. She needs to live, because there are people waiting for her. Long after she loses the will to keep fighting for herself, she keeps going, because Naruto, Sasuke-kun, Kakashi-sensei, Tsunade-shishou.. They're all waiting for her.

And the she spins, and there's no one there. And, oh, she's _so _tired. And then, suddenly, the floor rushes up to meet her, and then… _black_. Nothing.

And that's how they find her: alive, bloody, and surrounded by the corpses of her enemies.


	5. For Her Friends I

For Her Friends

Haruno Sakura watched, frozen, as her friend fell, one after the other. Her orders, she tried to tell herself, were simply to observe and analyze.

But _what _was there to analyze about her closest friends, lying in the dust, blood running for their bodies? They knew exactly where she was. And they knew her orders. And the knew how difficult it was to disobey orders, for her.

One by one, or together, they fell. Ino-pig, Chouji, and Shikamaru. Hinata-chan, Kiba, and Shino. And then Naruto and Sasuke were launching an attack, and her heat absolutely _ached _to be down there, with them – with her team.

IT was her _place_, with her teammates. And she saw Naruto glance quickly at the place where she _should _have been, and Sasuke's eyes flicker toward her tree in reponse, and something in her simply snapped, and she tried to get there, get into her place, but it was too late, and they, too, fell.

And then she was standing before him, all alone, and he looked surprised, just a bit, and then he lunged ast her, with the same attack he had used on Ino, and she dodged under his guard – because that was what thse had been analyzing – and was pressed right up to him, and then she was on top of him, kunai at the ready, but he had rolled them over, and he was taunting her. Oh, she hated it when her enemies did that. She gripped her kunai tightly in her fist, and the man smiled mockingly down at her.

"Come on, little girl, is _this _all you've got to avenge your little friends?"

She smiled grimly, and stuck her kunai threw his stomach, twisting it sadistically. "_This _is what I have for my friends," she replied with another hard twist. His body slumped onto hers, and the sudden weight on her body forced her breath out in a half-strangled hiss.

And then… she pushed him off, fiercely, and slit his throat for good measure. And then she started the healing.

Her last thought, before darkness consumed her, was that Tsunade-shishou would be very angry at her for disobeying orders.

But she would understand.

And Kakashi-sensei would be proud.


	6. For Her Friends II

For Her Friends

Sakura is standing on a bloody field, littered with the groaning bodies of her friends. She fears for them, and even more for those who make no sound, who lie limply, as broken dolls do.

She does not know how she got here, or where she is. It is a dream, she thinks, or an illusion. Ti has to be. She forms the hand seals and mutters, "Kai," looking up expectantly. They're still there.

Desperately, she grabs a kunai and slices it across her arm, the stroke sharp, deliberate, as is the accompanying pain. It does nothing. If this is in fact a dream, she does not awaken from it.

Frantically, she heals the long cut, and slices again, and again, tears running down her face to mingle with the rivulets of blood flowing down her body.

And then someone appears. Someone with superhuman speed and stealth, and a malicious intent thick enough to choke on, and she's sure, more than ever, that it is an illusion, one she cannot break, or maybe it _is _a dream, and she blinks, and he's _on _her, and he's too fast, too heavy, and she's wasted her chakra and covered in blood and tears.

And he kills her, chokes her, slowly, and she opens her mouth to scream, and…

She's awake. Bolt upright, and gasping, covered in sweat, and she's at home in her bed, and she can't sleep now, she knows it.

So she gets up, and she takes a shower – cold, because it wakes her up, brings her to reality.

And then she's outside, training, furious and cold and barefoot.

Her dream is _not _going to come true. It's not. She won't let it.


	7. For Her Duty

Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto_.

Summary: Only ten times has Haruno Sakura allowed herself to feel anything as she kills.

For Her Duty

There is a girl, on her hands and knees. There is a man, tall and arrogant. She could be begging.

But sweat pours off her body, and her limbs tremble, and her eyes are screwed shut in concentration. Behind her lies a man, bleeding and broken. In front of her stands another, commanding, harsh.

She does not love the man behind her, but she _does _know her duty.

Her duty is to the man behind her, because he is of the Village Hidden Among the Leaves, and so is she. Because he is the heir of Hyuuga.

Because he is her friend's fiancé, and another friend's cousin.

So she fights the chakra bind, though she has never had one so strong forced on her.

And then there's a crack, and a single cord of her power whips out, and pries the bind open.

He is still sneering when she's done with him. He'll sneer forever, his face frozen in the expression forever.

Death never felt so good.


	8. For Her Family

Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto_.

Summary: Only ten times has Haruno Sakura allowed herself to feel anything as she kills.

For Her Family

She runs through the forest, her feet silent on the invisible trail she follows. Her hair, pink and red with blood, is free and her Konoha forehead protector is sitting in its rightful place. The tip of the kunai she clutches is read with the life of her enemies.

Haruno Sakura is hunting.

She follows a trail only she can see, the trail of her parents' blood. Her teeth are clenched in a fierce snarl, the whiteness shining against the gore and blood on her normally pristine face.

Haruno Sakura is hunting. Hunting men.

They killed my parents, she thinks. She pictures their mangled bodies, and then she mirrors her mother's wounds on the first man she meets. A fireball in the stomach, senbon in the eyes. The second man gets her father's: kunai wounds across his arms, almost in a crisscrossing pattern, part of her notes. And then, in a swift, twisting, fluid motion, she slips under his guard.

Haruno Sakura is hunting. Hunting men. They don't stand a chance.

They're dead. She's not. She wins.


	9. For Her Home

Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto_.

Summary: Only ten times has Haruno Sakura allowed herself to feel anything as she kills.

For Her Home

The alarm bells are ringing. And Haruno Sakura is out there with the best of them. There's a slug beside her, tall, towering. And on the other side stands a snake, hovering, hissing, coiling, but there's one on her side, too. Beside her.

And behind her, Konoha stirs like a kicked anthill. It matters not that just ten, fifteen minutes ago, they were all asleep. It matters not that it is dark, that she can see nothing but shades of gray in the pre-dawn light.

Shades of grey, and blonde, and red.

And she fights. Maybe she shouldn't, maybe she should be at the hospital… But she's here. She's fighting and healing, almost in the same motion, and she vaguely realizes that she should stay back, but when she sees her friends rushing out, she joins them. And Naruto flashes by, bloody, but with his wounds already healing, and she notices that her friends are fighting far, far away from her, and she grins, showing all her teeth a smirk to wolf-like that Kiba would have been proud.

And then, before any enemies have a chance to notice, she lifts her foot, and she stomps, the burst of chakra shaking, shattering, breaking the earth. And the enemies _fall_. And her friends are there, Lee taking the time between dispatching opponents to give her a thumbs up and blinding tooth sparkle, and Sasuke ruins his frightening calm by giving her an even more frightening smile.

And this it's all blood and guts, the cries of the wounded, the snarls of the fighters, and explosions. There is no more Haruno Sakura, no more pink-haired girl with a passion for strawberries. Only a kunoichi, covered in blood, green eyes shining defiantly through.

She is all warrior, all killer, and as part of her observes, she releases herself to her instincts. And she's fighting, and fighting, her eyes only halfway concentrated on her opponent, but roaming. And then there's light, so much of it. Light. Burning, bright light.

And, she reasons, is wrong. They should be using darkness. _She _should be using light. And she squeezes her eyes shut, and mutters the illusion breaker, and then the illusion jutsu of total darkness, forming the hand seals with a speed that will never quite match Kakashi-sensei's, but is brilliant in itself.

Total darkness. She doesn't need to open her eyes to see it.

She smiles, and then she reaches out and sticks the kunai that appears in her hand through the neck of the enemy. And then she kicks him away from her, and his lifeless body falls away.

She stares down at him for a moment – all the time she has to spare – and feels the faintest stirring of pity for the young fool. He probably wasn't even a high-ranking chuunin. It almost wasn't fair.

But they came first.

And then, you can't see her anymore. She's off, and the pink is les noticeable in the sea of gray, and white, and blonde, and black, and brown, and _red_.

You would never have known that she was there at all, but for the single rain-drop on the boy's face from a cloudless sky.


	10. For Her Shishou

Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto_.

Summary: Only ten times has Haruno Sakura allowed herself to feel anything as she kills.

For Her Home

It was true. She knew it was true. It had to be true.

But it still hurt. It still ached.

"Yes, shishou," she heard herself say.

Yes, Tsunade-shishou, I will kill for you. For you, I will kill the only man I have ever loved, the only man I will ever love.

For you I will end his life.

Yes, shishou – I know he's dangerous. Yes, shishou, I know he's going crazy. Yes, shishou, I know he's not the man he was. Yes, shishou, I know he deserves death.

Yes, shishou; yes, shishou; yes…

Yes shishou, he deserves this last thing.

A painless death in the arms of a woman who loves him.

Yes, shishou. I will do what you ask.

Yes, shishou, I swear.

8888888888

He's there. I know he's there. He has to be there.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun. I came to visit you."

Hello, Sasuke-kun, why are you shivering in a corner? Why do you not reply anymore? Why don't you eat something?

Hello, Sasuke-kun, why don't we sit and talk a bit?

Hello, Sasuke; hello, Sasuke; hello…

This is my last present for you, Sasuke. Take it. And me.

8888888888

Blood, his.

All over me.

But I keep holding him.

He deserved that, at least.


	11. For Her Self

Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto_.

Summary: Only ten times has Haruno Sakura allowed herself to feel anything as she kills.

For Her Home

They don't bury him, only burn his body and throw his ashes to the winds. He is the Last Uchiha. We can't risk that.

She watches it through dry eyes.

Why should she cry?

She will see him again soon.

8888888888

A week later, Haruno Sakura disappears.

Ino is annoyed. Couldn't Sakura have given her that adorable dress she bought that other day first?

Naruto just smiles, sadly. Age has been good to him. He can see more clearly than ever before. He only wonders why she didn't wait for him. They're a team. He would have gone too.

Kakashi is slightly bothered. Hadn't he taught them to work as a team? Instead, Sakura was only watching Sasuke, and Naruto was on his own. Or maybe he would follow.

Tsunade sighs and swirls her sake. She wishes Sakura hadn't left, but knew she would. Now who could be Hokage? Maybe, she thinks, Naruto will at least stay long enough for that.

Sakura's parents are distraught. They don't understand. Why would Sakura throw her life away for a raving lunatic, even if he was a childhood friend? She was young, she would love again.

They don't understand. They don't understand that they were more than childhood friends. They were more than lovers.

They were a team.

Together, forever, no matter what.

8888888888

Sakura stands on the edge of a cliff, katana in hand, clothed in white. She thinks its fitting, that she would die in white. She hopes she falls forwards.

And then she kills herself. Its almost ritualistic, and she makes the cuts clean and straight and smooth, even though it hurts like nothing before. Except for her heart. Nothing can compare with that.

And then she falls forward, just like she calculated she would. That's good. Maybe they wouldn't find her body.

Knowing Kakashi, he would try.

Maybe he wouldn't be able to retrieve it?

…Ah, pain…

Silence.

Darkness.

Sasuke.


End file.
